


We Can't Plot Murder All The Time

by wakandan_wardog



Series: Tumblr Shenanigans [9]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Drabble, Gen, Originally Posted on Tumblr, True Friends Offer To Kill Your Ex, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-13 18:49:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15371025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wakandan_wardog/pseuds/wakandan_wardog
Summary: From the Prompt: "Would you ever write Deadpool/Tony (IronPool? DeadMan? IronDead? Dunno their ship name :b)"I don't ship it so it's non-romantic but here we are!





	We Can't Plot Murder All The Time

Tony shuffles into the kitchen of his Malibu house, and flails to a halt with a stumble at the sight of someone at his bar. While Tony himself stands in the remnants of his tuxedo from yet another stuffy, seemingly-unending black tie gala, the invading party sprawls in jeans and one of Tony’s favorite band shirts, sitting a bottled IPA at his bar. The figure is familiar, though the context in is strange.  

Wade Wilson is not one of the people that Tony hangs out on the cover of magazines, more one of those that see him dressed down and just being human. It was an accident, as the few real friends he has tend to be. They ran into each other on Jacksonville Beach a handful of years ago, and now and again they cross paths. 

Wade is younger than Tony by a handful of years, his brown hair fluffy and standing upright, brown eyes shadowed. It’s hard living, whatever Wade does. Tony never asks, and Wade never offers. Somehow, in spite of the different backgrounds and life stories and interests, they managed to become friends. Well, somewhere between the sarcasm and the various barbs about workout regimes and their choice of romantic partners.  

“What the fuck do you want, Wade?” Tony sighs wearily, shuffling to the coffee maker which JARVIS has obligingly started for him. “How did you get in? Why are you here?”

“I’m here for my monthly offer to kill Tiberius Stone.” Wade smiles. “I thought I’d make it in person because you have to answer and this way I might convince you to say yes.”

“Why do you ask?” Tony’s too busy pouring his coffee to notice the pleading look Wade gives. “If you really wanted him dead, you could do it.”

“Course I can.” Wade scoffs, eyes bright.  “But he’s not my ex, he’s your ex. I want you to be ok with it. We’re friends, and I’d hate to shoot him and then have you be mad at me when you see that he’s dead because of some news report.”

“You really care that I might be mad?”

“I don’t want you mad about a worthless waste of space, and I definitely don’t want you mad because I waste him.” Wade shrugs, smiling. “So, I thought I’d drink my way through your bar and talk you into it.”

“Might take a while.” Tony considers as he sips at his coffee. “You got some vacation time saved up?”

“Hell yes I do, rich boy! Gonna show me how to party California style?”

“Why not? We can’t plot murder all the time.”

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't going to move this to my AO3 but more people seem to be discovering it and I guess if it makes y'all happy it makes me happy? So, here it is. XD


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